The Man is in Bellingham!

The man ... aka Tyler ... has officially moved to Bellingham to attend Western Washington University and pursue a Bachelor degree in Environmental Sciences.  Go baby!  This is his goal ... well not just his goal but his dream.  Which turns our fabulous relationship into a long distance one.  Sigh ...

Long distance relationship so far hasn't been too shabby.  We care enough about each other and continue to be head over heels in love that we make it work.  We make it work because we fit together so perfectly and are so right for each other. Yes my followers ... I love this man and I am HAPPY!  I look back at my previous relationship and compare sometimes ... sorry I am going there because I have no other relationship to compare this too ... and I think about how great this feels.  This feels so great and can't believe that I let myself be so miserable for soooooooo many years.  Yes, soooooooo many years!  We're approaching a year of togetherness ... yes sometimes I keep stuff personal ... amazing I know!  A year already!  Time flies when you truly are happy and having fun!  He makes me want to become a better person and he makes me look forward to every day we have together.  :)  I'm such a just a big ball of sap-tastic right now!  Lol!

Aren't we cute together?

I hope everyone is doing equally as well!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

NCLEX

Well folks ... it's official.  I passed my NCLEX!  For those that do not know what the heck a "NCLEX" is, the medical dictionary defines this hell ... I mean torture ... I mean .... awe shoot never mind!  Here is the officially official definition "a comprehensive integrated examination, developed and administered by the National Council of State Boards of Nursing, designed to test basic competency for nursing practice. The exam is administered by the individual boards of nursing that are members of the National Council of State Boards of Nursing and can be offered to candidates for licensure as registered nurses or as practical/vocational nurses." (Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 2009).  Yes I just did that ... I cited my source.  Lol the joys of writing a bazillion nursing papers this past year has trained me well!

So yes I PASSED that comprehensive integrated examination!  Insert major happy dance and big sigh of relief!   Talk about stress!  Oh and the good news I still have one more to go when I become a Registered Nurse!  Wahooooo!  Lol!!  I am officially licensed by the state of Washington ... PRACTICAL NURSE!  Too all my haters out there, here is a big FACE!  Um, not sure who those haters are but as cool as I am ... I'm sure I've got at least one hater out there!  Teeheehee!  Here is my cute nursing pin I received at graduation:

Well followers this is where I get a little sappy.  I just want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone this past year and a half!  Boy you sure have seen me go through many ups and down!  I would never have made it through any of it without all your love and support.  You all mean the world to me and have helped me achieve the goals I have set forth for myself.  So THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

Awe Baby!

Welcome the newest addition to my familia!!  Kristos Peter Theodore Everson!! Swoon!  He is baby number 4 for my brother and sister-in-law ... and my 3rd nephew!  Love and adore this boy ... but let's be real ... who couldn't love and adore this sweet little face!  He was born on August 24th, prematurely at 32 weeks (I believe ... hahaha I'm old and can't remember right now!) and is doing amazingly!  This is him now at almost 2 months old!!  The time flies!  See how healthy and huggable he is!  I can't wait for our many future memories together!  Geez ... I really think being an Aunt is by far the best job in the world!!

Besos!!
Go.Be.Love
 

Graduated!

Woot woot!  I did it .... I graduated! :) Go me!  This has been quite the year and I'm so glad I made it!  I look back at this past year and think where on earth did the time go?  After my first quarter of nursing school I thought it would NEVER end ... that I must have done something in a past life to deserve this torture because I certainly wouldn't voluntarily sign up for nurse boot camp! Psstttt!  Just think ... this ... is ... my ... goal!  Lol! I'm so glad I made sacrifices in my life to get here and can be so proud of my accomplishments.  I've never done something just for me!  I still have two more years till I've fully reached my goal ... but I'm so close!

Here are some photos of my nursing school memories... enjoy!!

Hair Did

So I went and got my hair did ... lol it's only been over 2 years since this head of hair has had a dye job!  Really, it wasn't for the fact that it was overdue ... okay incredibly overdue... but rather it was the fact that....sit down for this.  I FOUND A GREY HAIR! Yes, I even had my bffl Erin confirm this recent development.  Just because a girl turns 32 does not give her hair permission to pop out some grey's.  Ugh, whatever!  I mean seriously, I'm GOOD to my hair.  I wash it, curl it, put shit in it to make it voluptuous and everything!  The LEAST it could do was hold off of the visible aging until I at least pop out a mini June.  That way its at least obvious why I got grey hair ... duh because isn't it because of popping out chillin's that makes you go grey?  At least that's what my mom says ....

I suppose I should clarify something here, if I was to have grey hair like this it wouldn't be so bad ... kinda sexy right? 

But that is NOT what mine looked like .... mine looked stupid and to top it off it could have at least started to grow into some cool grey steak or something.  Oh noooo it had to be unorganized and disheveled ...which is NOT me!  Ugh, who knew grey hair was so rebellious?!

So I took care of this disobedient grey issue and got some color.  I emailed my friend Cindy and we meant business!  Back to brown with blonde highlights is what my hair should be ... lol so that's what we did!  Wahlah ... here is the results ... yep I'm bringing sexy back, watch out!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

Pore This!

So tmi about mwah ... I'm obsessed with my pores.  Hmm, let me repeat myself .... I'm OBSESSED with my pores!  So as you can imagine, I go through those silly little Bjore pore strips pretty fast ... the sucky thing is they are so spendy!  Major dislike for this "pore" (haha me so funny!) student.  With that said, I became resourceful and found a solution!  Elmer's glue!  Yes, Elmer's glue!  Kicker?  It actually works!!

You should definitely try it if you are like me ... or like pretty pores!  Make sure to buy the non toxic kind!  I'm very sensitive and was a little concerned at first if I was to have a reaction, shockingly I had no reaction at all and was very impressed! 

All you do is slather on a thin layer, wait for it to dry, then peel it off!  Super duper easy!  See exhibit A ... God I'm sexy!

See? Thin layer! Make sure your glue layer isn't too thin where it looks clear...it needs to look white.  How long you leave it on is depending on how thin/thick the glue layer is.  I average 5-10 minutes which isn't bad at all.  Sometimes its longer if I'm studying and forget ... just make sure to do this in private because it's SOOOO attractive.  I would worry about your safety beating the boys away ... or if your a boy reading this ... manscape in private. (trust me on this one!)  If you insist on doing this in front of your man then I insist you put the girls on full display so they are distracted by the power of the breasts.  :P

Try it!  It really works!  If you start to have people say "damn girl look at those pores" ... your welcome!  Oh wait people don't say that?  WTF!? :P

Besos!
Go. Be. Love

Bread Update

So remember when I became domesticated again and decided to make bread?  Well here is your update on that experiment...verdict?  Delicioso!!  It was simply so good! I have since experimented two additional times!  I have made a heavenly combination of white flour/orange zest (lots of it!), cranberries and cinnamon.  OMG!  My absolute favorite!  Its like eating desert!  I want to try and make a "cinnamon roll" style bread next time! 

I love the fact that I can make bread, without a bread maker, and it turns out amazing!  I also love knowing what is in my food and what I'm putting in this body.  It's also very affordable!  Really, for the price of one loaf of bread you can buy a 5lb. bag of flour that probably makes 6 loaves of bread or more!  Not to shabby of a deal if you ask me!  Plus, there really isn't a lot of muscle required for this bread.  The hardest part is just waiting for the bread to rise. (12-18 hours)  I have found if I start the dough at 9pm, then the next day when I get home at 3pm I can start it!  So really, I'm either sleeping or at school and the bread is working its magic on my kitchen counter!

Definitely recommend trying your own and experimenting with different flavors, if you do please pass the yummy flavor ideas along!  P.S.  Isn't she pretty?  Sigh ... I'm so good!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

bleh!

Isn't this disgusting?  No ... I'm not referring to my albino, never  seen  a day of sun in their life, legs :)  I'm studying all about the cardiac system.  There is so much information that I honestly think my eyes are about to bleed! 

Don't your's too just from looking at that?  As you can tell I'm having a pity party?  Why you ask?  Well...I'll tell you! It's Cinco de Mayo and I'm home studying...wah...sniffle...snot...sniffle! 

Man, school always gets in the way! :P

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

Food Coma

Im in a food coma right now and I had to put my stretchy pants on for the occasion :P  Tonight I made the most amazingly easy dinner I've done in a long while!  Its a creamy goodness that my food baby belly has thoroughly enjoyed tonight!

When I was working at one of the elementary schools, the nurse I was following shared this little gem of a dish and of course I had to make it immediately!  Here it is so you can feed your food baby too:

**Put this in the crockpot in the morning before work/school and it'll be ready at dinner time!

4-6 chicken breasts
2 cans cream of chicken soup
2-8 oz packages of cream cheese
2 packages of italian dressing seasoning
container of fresh mushrooms
**asparagus - my add in and it was a good call for this dish!

Egg Noodes
**I used brown rice instead
**I also substituted everything for low or fat free items to keep the calories down!

In the crockpot I layered the food in the following order:  chicken/italian dressing sprinkled over the chicken/cream cheese/soup/mushrooms/asparagus.

I served this over brown rice and it was heaven, however you can serve this also over egg noodles if you prefer.  This makes A LOT of sauce, so I think for myself next time I will reduce this recipe by 1 can of soup and 1 package of cream cheese to make it healthier, plus I usually prefer more veggies than sauce anyways.

Disfrute! Besos!

Go.Be.Love

Regrets of the Dying

So my fellow nursing classmate posted about this article, and as a future nurse I of course had to read it.  My opinion?  So enlightening and true to how I try to live my life everyday! I've copied and pasted the article here for your reading pleasure, link is also at the bottom!  Let me know what you think!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love



Regrets of the Dying

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:


1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full length book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for. This inspiring book is available internationally through Hay House.

http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Somebody That I Used To Know - Pentatonix (Gotye cover)

Aren't the amazing?  I think I love it way more than the radio version ... what do you think?

Sigh ... uh-mahzing!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

I'm 200 Pounds Lighter!

That's right 200 pounds!  Granted ... it was on someone else's body ... but what ev I still lost it!  Ok ... ok ... I can sense you are confused so let me enlighten your eye's delight!  One hint, it starts with a big fat "D" ... divorce!  Divorce is long gone, everything is FINALLY separated, my name has been officially changed and ... kicker I've finally stood up for myself!  You can sit down for that, I know it's a lot to take in.  When I say "stood up" I mean stood up for myself against the "ex" ... he has tried to break me with his hatred and anger numerous times but it no longer works.  I have a voice and I'm not afraid to use it.

Yes, that has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders by doing that ... crazy!  I feel like I am able to move forward in my life and enter in my new relationship with everything I have.  I took me a whole year to get my strength and June power back, but she is back!  I love it, and oh how I've missed her!  I definitely feel I went through all those lovely stages of divorce grievings and as much as it was part of the process, I'm so glad it's over because man that sucked!  (Not that I'm saying something may not surface in the future ... but I'm so much stronger where I can handle it!)

Its amazing to me how being out of a negative situation for over a year, I can look back at all the verbal lashings, and think how the heck did I put up with that for 11 years?  It's insane!  I promise I won't bash because this post is all about me ... me ... ME! 

I am truly happy in my life at this very moment!  SIGH ... INHALE...SMILE ... heehee that's me right now!  I honestly never thought I'd be at this point but I'm truly happy with the path I've taken.  It's been a struggle but I feel stronger inside than I ever have, and I feel I truly know myself and what I'm capable of! 

A bonus to finally being happy with who I am?  I get to share this happiness with someone who adds to my happiness!  Meet the man, Tyler. 

I've never been so happy with someone before ... even with "the ex" .... as crazy as that sounds.  Young and dumb ... nuff said.  This man right here has my heart and it's the weirdest feeling ever ... and yet as happy as it makes me it scares the death out of me!   I feel like it's too good to be true, and a part of me is just waiting for it too be taken away.  (I hope not! Eek!)   Its nice taking things slow ... we've only been together for 6 months ... but we adore and relish every moment.  I'd say it's been a great start!  Cheers to new beginnings and happiness!

Tell me ... what's made you happy today?

Besos!  XOXO

Go. Be. Love

Sometimes I Bake

Yes it's true ... I know you probably think I've forgotten how because well ... I haven't in ages!  However, tonight I'm baking me some bread!  My bakeless days are over!  So to begin my domesticated life that I've missed ever so much, I've decided to make whole wheat/garlic/jalepeno cheese bread ... did your mouth drool a little bit reading that?  Because mine sure did! :P

My old high school pal kept posting all over FaceBook bread pictures ... and really who can resist some delicious carbs?  So I emailed her for the recipe, in turn she gave me this little gem of a blog:  "Simply So Good"  This chica-boom-boom makes a bomb bread with only 4 little ingredients; flour, yeast, salt, and water.  Of course with that base started, you can realistically add anything to the mixture your carb loving heart desires!!

I have it sitting on my counter as I type this little blog post, and in 12 to 18 hours I'm gonna flop it's fat dough belly on my counter, slather some flour on it and bake it in my new cast iron pot!  Is it a little sad how excited I get about this?  Lol ... you can obviously tell I've been consumed by nursing school way too long!  I'll post another post with the taste results of this experiment, cross your fingers it's amazing! (Otherwise it sure is a lot of time to wait for crappy bread!)
So for your eye delight ... me ... with dough!  Calm down ... I know my sexiness is out of control in this picture!

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

Is it possible to be "in love" with a song? Cuz I am ...




Lyrics:

"Almost Lover"

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

A Little Over A Week and Bleh!

Its amazing what one week will do!  Hmm the happenings? Well, we had a crazy snow storm and school was cancelled for 3 days whcih meant I was cooped up!  Ick!  With that said it put nursing school behind and we had hell to pay for it today!  Ugh so much to do and never enough time!  So I decided today ... 4 hours 24 minutes ago to be exact that I need to be put on medication.  I really don't care what I go on ... anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, ADHD medications, or anti-psychotic.  Lol ... what?! It's a lot less calories than all the wine I have been consuming!  Yes, I realize I just said consuming too much of ... never knew that existed in my vocabulary did you?  I can also see how nursing students become alcoholics by the time they get their nursing degree;  they need it to cope with the copious amounts of stress!  Its a constant fear of failing out of the program, never getting a high enough grade, pissing off your instructors, or killing a patient.  I'll pass on all of the above please!

On the divorcee front, today is my day to wallow in my sorrows ... can the emotional crud from the end of my past relationship please pass and allow me to move on in a healthy way?  I have an idea, let's reflect on the stages of grieving and see where Im at!   Ready ....set....andgo!  It's self diagnosis time! 

1.  Shock and Denial - Check
2.  Pain and Guilt - Check but frequent revisits ..damn the man!
3.  Anger and Bargaining - Check
4.  Depression, Reflection and Lonliness - Awe crap ...looks like I'm here ...do not pass go...
5. The Upward Turn
6.  Reconstruction and Working Through
7.  Acceptance and Hope

So this stage I'm in ... dislike ... DISLIKE!  I've definitely been feeling the blues lately and couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly, but it looks like my friends I have figured it out.  Phew feels so good to know I'm normal!   So now that I've self diagnosed myself, I feel it's appropriate at this time to write a little note to Step Number 4 ahem ... here goes:

Dear Step Number 4:

I don't like you.  It's not your fault, you were put in between 3 and 5.  No wonder your depressed, your sandwiched in between a slice of anger and a slice of happiness and neither one you can embrace. You are number 4, sad and depressed while reflecting on your loss and magnitude of your old life .... I get it.  Major bummer.  Speaking of bummer, I'm bumming too!  People think I've made a positive turn in my life and I've moved on ... and I suppose I have in baby steps.  However, I still reflect on my past, the memories, and my old life.  It makes things tough ... then throw in the female hormones into the mix?  Yeah I'm more screwed than you are my friend!  So I look forward to saying goodbye and allowing my life to reach that state of calmness and organization ... for the clouds to lift and the depresson lightens.  That's my goal ... and number 4 well ... I'd like to say you'll be missed but unfortunately you won't!  The End

Best Wishes,
June


Goal for the week? Just make it through this week ... continue to eat healthy, exercise, and try my best to stay positive in this crazy world otherwise known as my life.  Oh and love my boys ... aka Duece and Gasper.  They've had lots of adjusting too, sometimes I forget their little slice of heaven was turned upside down too.  Luckily I've always been their favorite ... so they are adjusting well :) TeeHee!

Before I bid you farewell my readers, I've decided to share a quote ... fitting if I do say so myself!

"Always continue the climb.  It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it " - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Besos!
Go.Be.Love

New Place and New Quarter

Where did Winter Break go?!  Ugh, it was a month long yet it felt like it wasn't long enough!  So I'm back in nursing school, starting week 3 on Monday ... eek! Already!  Hopefully this quarter will fly by!  The faster it goes, the faster I'm done, and the faster I can get some of my personal goals accomplished.  After all, I'd like to be a mom before I'm geriatric ... just saying!! 

So updates?  Well I moved ... yes MOVED!  No roomies for me right now!  I'm renting a studio apartment all by myself and I absolutely love it!  So much privacy and freedom to do whatever the heck I want to do, whenever I want.  I know I've said this so many times, and perhaps it took me living by myself, but it just hit me.  I can do and be whoever I want to be.  For the first time in my life I don't have to check in with anyone ... worry about someone else ... and make sacrifices for anyone else.  I'm ... on ... my ... own!  Making my own decisions and creating my own life.  Its such a weird feeling!  I've spent my whole life putting energies into everyone and everything else but me and now it's my turn! So scary and so awesome at the same time! 

You know whats amazing about FaceBook? The fact that you can look at your old posts ... so I did ... tonight.  I took a look at my postings from July 2011 when I took my Spain trip.  I'm not going to lie, it brought up a lot ...lol ... who am I kidding ... a TON of emotions from that trip.  I didn't blog about a lot of the emotions I was going through because of the Ian situation, but that trip was filled with so many good and bad emotions.  Dealing with divorce, out of country, where no one spoke your language was an experience.  I definitely had my fair share of tears on that trip.  It was so weird to experiencing so many emotions, sadness over a relationship that was over (even though it is the best decision I could have made for myself) and a new relationship being developed. 

For years I never thought that I mattered, every decision I wanted to make for myself was constantly being challenged and my self esteem was being diminished along the way.  I never thought that I would ever lose my voice in a relationship.  I know ... I know ... your probably thinking "June lose her voice? Impossible!"  Yes, I realize it's shocking :) However, I did.  The crazy thing is I never even noticed!  It slowly morphed into that, starting when I started dating Ian at 19.  I could never understand when I would hear about women who were in relationships were there was verbal or physical abuse how they could stay in that situation.  Now I get it.  You just get there and before you know it you are there ... and wondering how the hell did I actually get here? 

I suppose people will judge the decision I made with Ian, but it's only because they don't really know my life or the life I had.  The decision to finally leave Ian took a lot of courage on my part ... it took me finally putting myself first and I stopped covering up my relationship to make it seem like something it wasn't.  For once in my life I listened to my inner voice screaming at me, enough is enough.  It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and even though there were so many reasons to leave, and I know I left for the right reasons, its still so emotionally draining some days. 

I don't have much interaction with Ian these days, things are slowly getting separated.  All that is left is the house ... when I left him, I literally just left.  Walked out with what I could and didn't turn back.  He is still very angry with me and is down right nasty when it comes to any sort of communication ... so we don't communicate at all.  No longer do I allow myself to be spoken to with disrespect and anger.  He doesn't know how to respond to that ... so he responds the only way he knows how and that's with anger.  My wish for his future is to seek the help to move forward in a positive light, to let go of the anger he has inside.  Even through it all I wish good things for Ian ... we were together for over 11 1/2 years because there is good inside him  ... he just has a hard time letting it shine. 

Wow, I sure wasn't expecting to go there on this blog ... but apparently I needed to.  One thing I've taken from 2011 is let my emotions be ... don't mask them.  If it feels right, do it.  Speak your mind, love your family and friends, take risks, listen and be true to your inner self.  So for 2012 ... my resolution?  BE ME! That's it ... no bells and no whistles.  Simple and true.  For all my friends and family, thank you for being there for me through a very tough year.  Love you!  Here is to a great and new year!  Woot woot 2012!!

Besos!!

Go.Be.Love

Man Friend

Hello everyone!  I'd like to introduce you to my new man friend, Tyler.  Yes, I have a man friend ... no he is not my boyfriend because I'm not 12.  I'm 31 ... so therefore he is my man friend.  All I'm going to say is he is right for me right now.   Who knows where anything will take me but for now he is just right.  Sweet, kind, thoughtful, attentive, smart, funny, and loves me the way I need to be loved right now.  Sigh ... and yes, this is just a preview and all you get for now ... bwahahaha!  (That's my evil laugh)

P.S.  My heart is still guarded ... so don't worry about me rushing into anything fast :)

Besos! Go.Be.Love