Its amazing what one week will do! Hmm the happenings? Well, we had a crazy snow storm and school was cancelled for 3 days whcih meant I was cooped up! Ick! With that said it put nursing school behind and we had hell to pay for it today! Ugh so much to do and never enough time! So I decided today ... 4 hours 24 minutes ago to be exact that I need to be put on medication. I really don't care what I go on ... anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, ADHD medications, or anti-psychotic. Lol ... what?! It's a lot less calories than all the wine I have been consuming! Yes, I realize I just said consuming too much of ... never knew that existed in my vocabulary did you? I can also see how nursing students become alcoholics by the time they get their nursing degree; they need it to cope with the copious amounts of stress! Its a constant fear of failing out of the program, never getting a high enough grade, pissing off your instructors, or killing a patient. I'll pass on all of the above please!
On the divorcee front, today is my day to wallow in my sorrows ... can the emotional crud from the end of my past relationship please pass and allow me to move on in a healthy way? I have an idea, let's reflect on the stages of grieving and see where Im at! Ready ....set....andgo! It's self diagnosis time!
1. Shock and Denial - Check
2. Pain and Guilt - Check but frequent revisits ..damn the man!
3. Anger and Bargaining - Check
4. Depression, Reflection and Lonliness - Awe crap ...looks like I'm here ...do not pass go...
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
7. Acceptance and Hope
So this stage I'm in ... dislike ... DISLIKE! I've definitely been feeling the blues lately and couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly, but it looks like my friends I have figured it out. Phew feels so good to know I'm normal! So now that I've self diagnosed myself, I feel it's appropriate at this time to write a little note to Step Number 4 ahem ... here goes:
Dear Step Number 4:
I don't like you. It's not your fault, you were put in between 3 and 5. No wonder your depressed, your sandwiched in between a slice of anger and a slice of happiness and neither one you can embrace. You are number 4, sad and depressed while reflecting on your loss and magnitude of your old life .... I get it. Major bummer. Speaking of bummer, I'm bumming too! People think I've made a positive turn in my life and I've moved on ... and I suppose I have in baby steps. However, I still reflect on my past, the memories, and my old life. It makes things tough ... then throw in the female hormones into the mix? Yeah I'm more screwed than you are my friend! So I look forward to saying goodbye and allowing my life to reach that state of calmness and organization ... for the clouds to lift and the depresson lightens. That's my goal ... and number 4 well ... I'd like to say you'll be missed but unfortunately you won't! The End
Best Wishes,
June
Goal for the week? Just make it through this week ... continue to eat healthy, exercise, and try my best to stay positive in this crazy world otherwise known as my life. Oh and love my boys ... aka Duece and Gasper. They've had lots of adjusting too, sometimes I forget their little slice of heaven was turned upside down too. Luckily I've always been their favorite ... so they are adjusting well :) TeeHee!
Before I bid you farewell my readers, I've decided to share a quote ... fitting if I do say so myself!
"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it " - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
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