Friday, April 27, 2012
Somebody That I Used To Know - Pentatonix (Gotye cover)
Aren't the amazing? I think I love it way more than the radio version ... what do you think?
Sigh ... uh-mahzing!
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
Thursday, April 26, 2012
I'm 200 Pounds Lighter!
That's right 200 pounds! Granted ... it was on someone else's body ... but what ev I still lost it! Ok ... ok ... I can sense you are confused so let me enlighten your eye's delight! One hint, it starts with a big fat "D" ... divorce! Divorce is long gone, everything is FINALLY separated, my name has been officially changed and ... kicker I've finally stood up for myself! You can sit down for that, I know it's a lot to take in. When I say "stood up" I mean stood up for myself against the "ex" ... he has tried to break me with his hatred and anger numerous times but it no longer works. I have a voice and I'm not afraid to use it.
Yes, that has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders by doing that ... crazy! I feel like I am able to move forward in my life and enter in my new relationship with everything I have. I took me a whole year to get my strength and June power back, but she is back! I love it, and oh how I've missed her! I definitely feel I went through all those lovely stages of divorce grievings and as much as it was part of the process, I'm so glad it's over because man that sucked! (Not that I'm saying something may not surface in the future ... but I'm so much stronger where I can handle it!)
Its amazing to me how being out of a negative situation for over a year, I can look back at all the verbal lashings, and think how the heck did I put up with that for 11 years? It's insane! I promise I won't bash because this post is all about me ... me ... ME!
I am truly happy in my life at this very moment! SIGH ... INHALE...SMILE ... heehee that's me right now! I honestly never thought I'd be at this point but I'm truly happy with the path I've taken. It's been a struggle but I feel stronger inside than I ever have, and I feel I truly know myself and what I'm capable of!
A bonus to finally being happy with who I am? I get to share this happiness with someone who adds to my happiness! Meet the man, Tyler.
I've never been so happy with someone before ... even with "the ex" .... as crazy as that sounds. Young and dumb ... nuff said. This man right here has my heart and it's the weirdest feeling ever ... and yet as happy as it makes me it scares the death out of me! I feel like it's too good to be true, and a part of me is just waiting for it too be taken away. (I hope not! Eek!) Its nice taking things slow ... we've only been together for 6 months ... but we adore and relish every moment. I'd say it's been a great start! Cheers to new beginnings and happiness!
Tell me ... what's made you happy today?
Besos! XOXO
Go. Be. Love
Yes, that has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders by doing that ... crazy! I feel like I am able to move forward in my life and enter in my new relationship with everything I have. I took me a whole year to get my strength and June power back, but she is back! I love it, and oh how I've missed her! I definitely feel I went through all those lovely stages of divorce grievings and as much as it was part of the process, I'm so glad it's over because man that sucked! (Not that I'm saying something may not surface in the future ... but I'm so much stronger where I can handle it!)
Its amazing to me how being out of a negative situation for over a year, I can look back at all the verbal lashings, and think how the heck did I put up with that for 11 years? It's insane! I promise I won't bash because this post is all about me ... me ... ME!
I am truly happy in my life at this very moment! SIGH ... INHALE...SMILE ... heehee that's me right now! I honestly never thought I'd be at this point but I'm truly happy with the path I've taken. It's been a struggle but I feel stronger inside than I ever have, and I feel I truly know myself and what I'm capable of!
A bonus to finally being happy with who I am? I get to share this happiness with someone who adds to my happiness! Meet the man, Tyler.
I've never been so happy with someone before ... even with "the ex" .... as crazy as that sounds. Young and dumb ... nuff said. This man right here has my heart and it's the weirdest feeling ever ... and yet as happy as it makes me it scares the death out of me! I feel like it's too good to be true, and a part of me is just waiting for it too be taken away. (I hope not! Eek!) Its nice taking things slow ... we've only been together for 6 months ... but we adore and relish every moment. I'd say it's been a great start! Cheers to new beginnings and happiness!
Tell me ... what's made you happy today?
Besos! XOXO
Go. Be. Love
Sometimes I Bake
Yes it's true ... I know you probably think I've forgotten how because well ... I haven't in ages! However, tonight I'm baking me some bread! My bakeless days are over! So to begin my domesticated life that I've missed ever so much, I've decided to make whole wheat/garlic/jalepeno cheese bread ... did your mouth drool a little bit reading that? Because mine sure did! :P
My old high school pal kept posting all over FaceBook bread pictures ... and really who can resist some delicious carbs? So I emailed her for the recipe, in turn she gave me this little gem of a blog: "Simply So Good" This chica-boom-boom makes a bomb bread with only 4 little ingredients; flour, yeast, salt, and water. Of course with that base started, you can realistically add anything to the mixture your carb loving heart desires!!
I have it sitting on my counter as I type this little blog post, and in 12 to 18 hours I'm gonna flop it's fat dough belly on my counter, slather some flour on it and bake it in my new cast iron pot! Is it a little sad how excited I get about this? Lol ... you can obviously tell I've been consumed by nursing school way too long! I'll post another post with the taste results of this experiment, cross your fingers it's amazing! (Otherwise it sure is a lot of time to wait for crappy bread!)
So for your eye delight ... me ... with dough! Calm down ... I know my sexiness is out of control in this picture!
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
My old high school pal kept posting all over FaceBook bread pictures ... and really who can resist some delicious carbs? So I emailed her for the recipe, in turn she gave me this little gem of a blog: "Simply So Good" This chica-boom-boom makes a bomb bread with only 4 little ingredients; flour, yeast, salt, and water. Of course with that base started, you can realistically add anything to the mixture your carb loving heart desires!!
I have it sitting on my counter as I type this little blog post, and in 12 to 18 hours I'm gonna flop it's fat dough belly on my counter, slather some flour on it and bake it in my new cast iron pot! Is it a little sad how excited I get about this? Lol ... you can obviously tell I've been consumed by nursing school way too long! I'll post another post with the taste results of this experiment, cross your fingers it's amazing! (Otherwise it sure is a lot of time to wait for crappy bread!)
So for your eye delight ... me ... with dough! Calm down ... I know my sexiness is out of control in this picture!
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
Friday, February 3, 2012
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
Is it possible to be "in love" with a song? Cuz I am ...
Lyrics:
"Almost Lover"
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
Lyrics:
"Almost Lover"
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
Monday, January 23, 2012
A Little Over A Week and Bleh!
Its amazing what one week will do! Hmm the happenings? Well, we had a crazy snow storm and school was cancelled for 3 days whcih meant I was cooped up! Ick! With that said it put nursing school behind and we had hell to pay for it today! Ugh so much to do and never enough time! So I decided today ... 4 hours 24 minutes ago to be exact that I need to be put on medication. I really don't care what I go on ... anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, ADHD medications, or anti-psychotic. Lol ... what?! It's a lot less calories than all the wine I have been consuming! Yes, I realize I just said consuming too much of ... never knew that existed in my vocabulary did you? I can also see how nursing students become alcoholics by the time they get their nursing degree; they need it to cope with the copious amounts of stress! Its a constant fear of failing out of the program, never getting a high enough grade, pissing off your instructors, or killing a patient. I'll pass on all of the above please!
On the divorcee front, today is my day to wallow in my sorrows ... can the emotional crud from the end of my past relationship please pass and allow me to move on in a healthy way? I have an idea, let's reflect on the stages of grieving and see where Im at! Ready ....set....andgo! It's self diagnosis time!
1. Shock and Denial - Check
2. Pain and Guilt - Check but frequent revisits ..damn the man!
3. Anger and Bargaining - Check
4. Depression, Reflection and Lonliness - Awe crap ...looks like I'm here ...do not pass go...
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
7. Acceptance and Hope
So this stage I'm in ... dislike ... DISLIKE! I've definitely been feeling the blues lately and couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly, but it looks like my friends I have figured it out. Phew feels so good to know I'm normal! So now that I've self diagnosed myself, I feel it's appropriate at this time to write a little note to Step Number 4 ahem ... here goes:
Dear Step Number 4:
I don't like you. It's not your fault, you were put in between 3 and 5. No wonder your depressed, your sandwiched in between a slice of anger and a slice of happiness and neither one you can embrace. You are number 4, sad and depressed while reflecting on your loss and magnitude of your old life .... I get it. Major bummer. Speaking of bummer, I'm bumming too! People think I've made a positive turn in my life and I've moved on ... and I suppose I have in baby steps. However, I still reflect on my past, the memories, and my old life. It makes things tough ... then throw in the female hormones into the mix? Yeah I'm more screwed than you are my friend! So I look forward to saying goodbye and allowing my life to reach that state of calmness and organization ... for the clouds to lift and the depresson lightens. That's my goal ... and number 4 well ... I'd like to say you'll be missed but unfortunately you won't! The End
Best Wishes,
June
Goal for the week? Just make it through this week ... continue to eat healthy, exercise, and try my best to stay positive in this crazy world otherwise known as my life. Oh and love my boys ... aka Duece and Gasper. They've had lots of adjusting too, sometimes I forget their little slice of heaven was turned upside down too. Luckily I've always been their favorite ... so they are adjusting well :) TeeHee!
Before I bid you farewell my readers, I've decided to share a quote ... fitting if I do say so myself!
"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it " - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
On the divorcee front, today is my day to wallow in my sorrows ... can the emotional crud from the end of my past relationship please pass and allow me to move on in a healthy way? I have an idea, let's reflect on the stages of grieving and see where Im at! Ready ....set....andgo! It's self diagnosis time!
1. Shock and Denial - Check
2. Pain and Guilt - Check but frequent revisits ..damn the man!
3. Anger and Bargaining - Check
4. Depression, Reflection and Lonliness - Awe crap ...looks like I'm here ...do not pass go...
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
7. Acceptance and Hope
So this stage I'm in ... dislike ... DISLIKE! I've definitely been feeling the blues lately and couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly, but it looks like my friends I have figured it out. Phew feels so good to know I'm normal! So now that I've self diagnosed myself, I feel it's appropriate at this time to write a little note to Step Number 4 ahem ... here goes:
Dear Step Number 4:
I don't like you. It's not your fault, you were put in between 3 and 5. No wonder your depressed, your sandwiched in between a slice of anger and a slice of happiness and neither one you can embrace. You are number 4, sad and depressed while reflecting on your loss and magnitude of your old life .... I get it. Major bummer. Speaking of bummer, I'm bumming too! People think I've made a positive turn in my life and I've moved on ... and I suppose I have in baby steps. However, I still reflect on my past, the memories, and my old life. It makes things tough ... then throw in the female hormones into the mix? Yeah I'm more screwed than you are my friend! So I look forward to saying goodbye and allowing my life to reach that state of calmness and organization ... for the clouds to lift and the depresson lightens. That's my goal ... and number 4 well ... I'd like to say you'll be missed but unfortunately you won't! The End
Best Wishes,
June
Goal for the week? Just make it through this week ... continue to eat healthy, exercise, and try my best to stay positive in this crazy world otherwise known as my life. Oh and love my boys ... aka Duece and Gasper. They've had lots of adjusting too, sometimes I forget their little slice of heaven was turned upside down too. Luckily I've always been their favorite ... so they are adjusting well :) TeeHee!
Before I bid you farewell my readers, I've decided to share a quote ... fitting if I do say so myself!
"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it " - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Besos!
Go.Be.Love
Saturday, January 14, 2012
New Place and New Quarter
Where did Winter Break go?! Ugh, it was a month long yet it felt like it wasn't long enough! So I'm back in nursing school, starting week 3 on Monday ... eek! Already! Hopefully this quarter will fly by! The faster it goes, the faster I'm done, and the faster I can get some of my personal goals accomplished. After all, I'd like to be a mom before I'm geriatric ... just saying!!
So updates? Well I moved ... yes MOVED! No roomies for me right now! I'm renting a studio apartment all by myself and I absolutely love it! So much privacy and freedom to do whatever the heck I want to do, whenever I want. I know I've said this so many times, and perhaps it took me living by myself, but it just hit me. I can do and be whoever I want to be. For the first time in my life I don't have to check in with anyone ... worry about someone else ... and make sacrifices for anyone else. I'm ... on ... my ... own! Making my own decisions and creating my own life. Its such a weird feeling! I've spent my whole life putting energies into everyone and everything else but me and now it's my turn! So scary and so awesome at the same time!
You know whats amazing about FaceBook? The fact that you can look at your old posts ... so I did ... tonight. I took a look at my postings from July 2011 when I took my Spain trip. I'm not going to lie, it brought up a lot ...lol ... who am I kidding ... a TON of emotions from that trip. I didn't blog about a lot of the emotions I was going through because of the Ian situation, but that trip was filled with so many good and bad emotions. Dealing with divorce, out of country, where no one spoke your language was an experience. I definitely had my fair share of tears on that trip. It was so weird to experiencing so many emotions, sadness over a relationship that was over (even though it is the best decision I could have made for myself) and a new relationship being developed.
For years I never thought that I mattered, every decision I wanted to make for myself was constantly being challenged and my self esteem was being diminished along the way. I never thought that I would ever lose my voice in a relationship. I know ... I know ... your probably thinking "June lose her voice? Impossible!" Yes, I realize it's shocking :) However, I did. The crazy thing is I never even noticed! It slowly morphed into that, starting when I started dating Ian at 19. I could never understand when I would hear about women who were in relationships were there was verbal or physical abuse how they could stay in that situation. Now I get it. You just get there and before you know it you are there ... and wondering how the hell did I actually get here?
I suppose people will judge the decision I made with Ian, but it's only because they don't really know my life or the life I had. The decision to finally leave Ian took a lot of courage on my part ... it took me finally putting myself first and I stopped covering up my relationship to make it seem like something it wasn't. For once in my life I listened to my inner voice screaming at me, enough is enough. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and even though there were so many reasons to leave, and I know I left for the right reasons, its still so emotionally draining some days.
I don't have much interaction with Ian these days, things are slowly getting separated. All that is left is the house ... when I left him, I literally just left. Walked out with what I could and didn't turn back. He is still very angry with me and is down right nasty when it comes to any sort of communication ... so we don't communicate at all. No longer do I allow myself to be spoken to with disrespect and anger. He doesn't know how to respond to that ... so he responds the only way he knows how and that's with anger. My wish for his future is to seek the help to move forward in a positive light, to let go of the anger he has inside. Even through it all I wish good things for Ian ... we were together for over 11 1/2 years because there is good inside him ... he just has a hard time letting it shine.
Wow, I sure wasn't expecting to go there on this blog ... but apparently I needed to. One thing I've taken from 2011 is let my emotions be ... don't mask them. If it feels right, do it. Speak your mind, love your family and friends, take risks, listen and be true to your inner self. So for 2012 ... my resolution? BE ME! That's it ... no bells and no whistles. Simple and true. For all my friends and family, thank you for being there for me through a very tough year. Love you! Here is to a great and new year! Woot woot 2012!!
Besos!!
Go.Be.Love
So updates? Well I moved ... yes MOVED! No roomies for me right now! I'm renting a studio apartment all by myself and I absolutely love it! So much privacy and freedom to do whatever the heck I want to do, whenever I want. I know I've said this so many times, and perhaps it took me living by myself, but it just hit me. I can do and be whoever I want to be. For the first time in my life I don't have to check in with anyone ... worry about someone else ... and make sacrifices for anyone else. I'm ... on ... my ... own! Making my own decisions and creating my own life. Its such a weird feeling! I've spent my whole life putting energies into everyone and everything else but me and now it's my turn! So scary and so awesome at the same time!
You know whats amazing about FaceBook? The fact that you can look at your old posts ... so I did ... tonight. I took a look at my postings from July 2011 when I took my Spain trip. I'm not going to lie, it brought up a lot ...lol ... who am I kidding ... a TON of emotions from that trip. I didn't blog about a lot of the emotions I was going through because of the Ian situation, but that trip was filled with so many good and bad emotions. Dealing with divorce, out of country, where no one spoke your language was an experience. I definitely had my fair share of tears on that trip. It was so weird to experiencing so many emotions, sadness over a relationship that was over (even though it is the best decision I could have made for myself) and a new relationship being developed.
For years I never thought that I mattered, every decision I wanted to make for myself was constantly being challenged and my self esteem was being diminished along the way. I never thought that I would ever lose my voice in a relationship. I know ... I know ... your probably thinking "June lose her voice? Impossible!" Yes, I realize it's shocking :) However, I did. The crazy thing is I never even noticed! It slowly morphed into that, starting when I started dating Ian at 19. I could never understand when I would hear about women who were in relationships were there was verbal or physical abuse how they could stay in that situation. Now I get it. You just get there and before you know it you are there ... and wondering how the hell did I actually get here?
I suppose people will judge the decision I made with Ian, but it's only because they don't really know my life or the life I had. The decision to finally leave Ian took a lot of courage on my part ... it took me finally putting myself first and I stopped covering up my relationship to make it seem like something it wasn't. For once in my life I listened to my inner voice screaming at me, enough is enough. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and even though there were so many reasons to leave, and I know I left for the right reasons, its still so emotionally draining some days.
I don't have much interaction with Ian these days, things are slowly getting separated. All that is left is the house ... when I left him, I literally just left. Walked out with what I could and didn't turn back. He is still very angry with me and is down right nasty when it comes to any sort of communication ... so we don't communicate at all. No longer do I allow myself to be spoken to with disrespect and anger. He doesn't know how to respond to that ... so he responds the only way he knows how and that's with anger. My wish for his future is to seek the help to move forward in a positive light, to let go of the anger he has inside. Even through it all I wish good things for Ian ... we were together for over 11 1/2 years because there is good inside him ... he just has a hard time letting it shine.
Wow, I sure wasn't expecting to go there on this blog ... but apparently I needed to. One thing I've taken from 2011 is let my emotions be ... don't mask them. If it feels right, do it. Speak your mind, love your family and friends, take risks, listen and be true to your inner self. So for 2012 ... my resolution? BE ME! That's it ... no bells and no whistles. Simple and true. For all my friends and family, thank you for being there for me through a very tough year. Love you! Here is to a great and new year! Woot woot 2012!!
Besos!!
Go.Be.Love
Man Friend
Hello everyone! I'd like to introduce you to my new man friend, Tyler. Yes, I have a man friend ... no he is not my boyfriend because I'm not 12. I'm 31 ... so therefore he is my man friend. All I'm going to say is he is right for me right now. Who knows where anything will take me but for now he is just right. Sweet, kind, thoughtful, attentive, smart, funny, and loves me the way I need to be loved right now. Sigh ... and yes, this is just a preview and all you get for now ... bwahahaha! (That's my evil laugh)
P.S. My heart is still guarded ... so don't worry about me rushing into anything fast :)
Besos! Go.Be.Love
P.S. My heart is still guarded ... so don't worry about me rushing into anything fast :)
Besos! Go.Be.Love
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